Posts tagged personal
The most important goal to set for 2019

I can set New Year’s resolutions all.day.long. I love goal-setting, planning, prioritizing, checklists, checking goals off when I’ve reached them. Have I mentioned I’m a 1?

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This year, I have bigger goals than ever. And I’m SO FREAKING EXCITED ABOUT THEM. Physical goals, financial goals, investment goals, relationship goals… Give me all the goals. I’m a goal digger, surrounded by a community of achievers both on and offline.

But if goals are what gets you through a week, a month, a year, it’s time to take a hard look at what you are actually achieving.

I believe we were made with an ultimate goal already built into our DNA. The goal to know God. To live beyond life on earth and for the far bigger end of eternity with Him.

Sadly, our goal-getting can cause us to lose sight of this. To lessen the priority of what’s most important. And even to forget who we are and what we were made for.

If goals - however noble they may be - become our main motivation from one day to the next; becoming more fit, increasing our financial standing, gaining influence and building a bigger kingdom - whatever that looks like - we will gradually lose the true purpose of our life in numbed forward motion.

I’m loving my goal-setting this year, and this is not to knock the act of it. But I have to regularly stop and remind myself that one day, I will leave earth and all these achievements behind. One day, I will talk face-to-face with my maker and share with him what and who I lived for.

I will start this next year already losing if I neglect the ultimate goal of each and every breath I’m given: To live in-step with God and fulfill the purposes He’s given me.

Especially this purpose.

Beyond the smaller, less important goals I’m looking forward to achieving in 2019, I have a bigger, much more meaningful goal to know God more deeply this year. To be more intentional in my time with him. To align everything else with his whispers and Word. To be bolder about my faith in Jesus Christ. To live in a way that inspires and challenges other believers. These are the goals I will be proud to invest in - the eternal goals that don’t pass when I take my last breath.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for letting me preach a bit. And let me encourage you to add faith goals to your list. In fact, put a big one at the top of your 2019 resolutions. Don’t go soft when it comes to living out your beliefs.

If God is asking for more from you, let this be the year you fully commit to what that is. More focused attention during devotionals. More prayer. More openness in worship. More effort in being involved with a church community. More exploring what you believe and why. More serving, sharing or giving. More accountability with someone you know will speak godly truth to you. More being the example in your family. More scripture memorization. Less distraction (even by what’s good or innocent) and more deliberate decision-making.

Make 2019 the year you deepen your faith. I will be setting the same goals with you, you won’t be alone!

Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. Romans 8:12-13

If you feel like you’ve coasted for too long and need a push, this is a good place to start.

And if this resonates with you, put a little heart below or leave a comment. I would love to hear your thoughts!

How I (am continuously) beating social anxiety

Admittedly, sometimes it feels like social anxiety is beating me (at least beating me up on the inside, even if I manage to put on a good face). But my battle with this particular type of fear and anxiety is one I win far more frequently than lose. And that’s what I want to focus on.

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For those of you who read this post, follow me on Insta where I occasionally mention this struggle, or who happened by this blog post randomly and are drawn in by the subject matter, I am not going to elaborate on the episodes of panic. I’m going to tell you what I do when I am most prone to them - in those moments, days, weeks, months where I feel (here are my triggers, friend) stressed, under pressure, abnormally tired or in upheaval or transition.

Whenever I post something or share about the war in my mind, I have at least one or more people ask how I deal with it. Here are the weapons that work for me.

A specific prayer

It’s not fancy or elaborate. It’s simply exactly what I need from God: “Lord, please make this a confidence-building day.” It’s what I pray daily, or throughout the day if I’ve got a particularly nerve-wracking presentation or interaction on the calendar. With these words, I’m praying not just for that day, but for the continual building of confidence that only consecutive days of wins can bring. Use it! It works!

A commitment to yes, I will

I have a personal commitment to myself to rarely say no to opportunities that will stretch me, even if it means I’ll be fearful, anxious or down right panicky. I say yes a lot even when I know it will make me nervous. If I didn’t, I honestly think I would be light years behind where I am at now in my confidence, self-respect, self-awareness and ability to handle the tough moments. There have been a few rare occasions where I just know I’m completely worn to the bone and saying yes would truly be detrimental, but about 95% of the time, I need to accept the stretch. Quick soapbox: Too many times, we use our fear as an excuse to decline an opportunity that is God’s exact answer to the fear. If you feel stuck, it may be because you keep giving in to the fear and living the same victim cycle. Start saying yes more often. Do it for you, even if you don’t get the best outcomes at first. *stepping off soapbox.

I went to counseling and did a workbook

It’s been quite a few years ago, but I had a cray-zay job in social work right around the time my nerves were first fraying. It was the catalyst for my first panic attacks and bizarre, fear-based thoughts clouding my thinking. My company offered a few counseling sessions (they needed to, it was SUCH an emotionally brutal line of work) and I took them up on it. The lady I met with walked me through some helpful calming exercises, but the best thing she did was encourage me to get a workbook. I did not expect it to be so beneficial. I can’t remember the exact one but it was something like this.

I use humor and interactivity

For my birthday, I was gifted three gratitude journals. My new favorite thing! Pictured is one from  May Designs .

For my birthday, I was gifted three gratitude journals. My new favorite thing! Pictured is one from May Designs.

Two things that happen to help me and inadvertently make me more likable. I’ve become adept at thinking of funny things to say right about the moment everybody puts their attention on me. Starting the conversation or presentation with laughter gives me a moment to collect myself when I feel the fear rising. I also love to teach and educate. I do NOT love to have lots of eyeballs on me. But the silver lining is that I’ve become very good at creating interactive presentations to point eyes away from me to a screen, a paper, anything else, which usually goes over better than if I was standing there rambling on anyway.

I’m proactive with positive thinking

This is the one I’m currently working on. I realized not too long ago that I need to be much better about intentional positivity. We can be so hard on ourselves - not realizing how often we belittle ourselves, put pressure on ourselves, compare, downplay, criticize and beat ourselves up. All in our minds. I replay my failures and bad moments way more often then I do the good ones. I’ve realized I have to be very intentional about bringing positive, encouraging thinking into my day. Two ways I’m doing this is through gratitude practice and meditating on Philippians 4:8. Not as weapons for weak, anxious fears but as constant nurturing of a stronger, grateful, truth-filled mind.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. - Philippians 4:8

Those are a few of the main ways I combat social anxiety. If you can relate, have questions for me, or have your own proven coping tactic, I would love to hear about it! Comment below :)

Yes, I'm alive!

Oh hello, friend! 

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I've been a little off the radar this summer and you may have noticed right away that something seems different... Well, a few somethings are different. The most obvious to you is that I redesigned my website. As I create SquareSpace sites for clients and explore new templates and functionalities, I get the itch to update my own. So, welcome to the new and improved lindseywagnon.com! It's simple because I like to keep things simple, but I like it a little better than the version prior. And I'm sure I'll like the next update better than this one, but for now we're going to enjoy what you see in front of you, k?

We moved into our planted house in July! It was a whirlwind five days but we're in and every day in awe that we've been so blessed. If you're curious to see what it looks like and the daily happenings in our new digs, you should follow me on Instagram!

Let's see, what else is new?

I'm obsessed with Rachel Hollis. Her podcast. Her couples podcast. Her book. Anyone else with me?

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Cora and I took a road trip last weekend to Richmond, VA for my younger sister's baby shower. Her baby boy is due on October 31st so we refer to him as "Baby Boo". It was nice to be somewhere unusual, even as quick as it was. I, of course, listened to Rachel Hollis podcasts to pass the drive time. 

Over the summer, I wrapped a website build, an email campaign and a brand relaunch set of brand descriptions and statements. And that's just with the side hustle. 

At my corporate job, I've been eyeballs deep in leading our content creation, including marketing and social, project management and marketing education. My days are a blur and consist of everything from explaining website funnels to audience targeting to value propositions to brand awareness. 

I'm fulling immersed in worship leading again, a passion that was a flicker in my heart for the couple of years after Cora was born. It can be time consuming but I've come to learn that if you love something enough, the time spent isn't a burden at all. 

Enough about me, I'd love to know one thing that's new with you! Drop a comment, girlfriend, and let's both catch up ;)

Pink hair, the motorcycle story and bad Facebook photos

Earlier this week, I met up with a friend just to chat about life. We said hello, ordered coffee and for the next hour and a half, compared our life history, each going back a few years, doing that thing where you cock your head to the side and scrunch your forehead in concentration to remember. The conversation was decorated by a lot of gasps, jaw drops at VERY interesting details, nodding along in complete understanding and exclamations of, "yes! me too!" 

I grew up in southwestern Virginia, so visits to historic Williamsburg came with the territory. Here's me, my 4-years younger brother and 5-years younger sister. Also, my dad's legs and high socks. 

I grew up in southwestern Virginia, so visits to historic Williamsburg came with the territory. Here's me, my 4-years younger brother and 5-years younger sister. Also, my dad's legs and high socks. 

I know we're not supposed to live in the past, but I love a person who genuinely wants to know where I've come from. Because our history gives context. It exposes areas of relatability, and it helps you feel more understood. Plus, it opens up areas of experience and wisdom that may help others out.

Today, I'm feeling reminiscent. I dug back through old Facebook photos (I'm too old to have my WHOLE life history there, thank goodness).

Here are a few things about me you may not know, supported by horrible photography.  

I went to Virginia Tech for communications and music. I graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism and minor in jazz vocal performance. I met some great friends there, a few of whom I still keep in touch with. 

I went to Virginia Tech for communications and music. I graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism and minor in jazz vocal performance. I met some great friends there, a few of whom I still keep in touch with. 

My brother and sister also went to Virginia Tech so we're quite the Hokie family now. 

My brother and sister also went to Virginia Tech so we're quite the Hokie family now. 

Philip and I got to know each other through doing ministry side-by-side, which has been the foundation of our marriage. We joined forces to lead a young adult group at church, myself mostly doing music and him leading the weekly teaching. Leadership has always been natural for us. 

Philip and I got to know each other through doing ministry side-by-side, which has been the foundation of our marriage. We joined forces to lead a young adult group at church, myself mostly doing music and him leading the weekly teaching. Leadership has always been natural for us. 

Yes, that's philip on the drums and me leading worship at the piano, something I still really miss doing. 

Yes, that's philip on the drums and me leading worship at the piano, something I still really miss doing. 

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When we met, Philip had a Honda motorcycle he was obsessed with. In this photo, he's taking my little sister out for a ride at her high school graduation party. About two weeks later, he would propose to me and by the time we got married that september (yes, we planned our wedding in 10 weeks), he would have sold the motorcycle to pay for our honeymoon in Jamaica. I know. 

I love, love, loved our wedding. It was the most perfect September day at gorgeous Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia. instead of a unity candle, we did a foot washing. 

I love, love, loved our wedding. It was the most perfect September day at gorgeous Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia. instead of a unity candle, we did a foot washing. 

About six months after we got married, I did the cliche hair chop thing. Only I did it to the extreme. My one and only pixie cut. Cute and low-maintenance, but I preferred it a little longer, so back out it grew. 

About six months after we got married, I did the cliche hair chop thing. Only I did it to the extreme. My one and only pixie cut. Cute and low-maintenance, but I preferred it a little longer, so back out it grew. 

I've had extremely long hair, chin-length hair, platinum hair, taylor swift straight bangs and everything in between. 

I've had extremely long hair, chin-length hair, platinum hair, taylor swift straight bangs and everything in between. 

Even pastel pink hair. 

Even pastel pink hair. 

I guess you could say I'm a pianist. I took for nine years growing up and self-taught chord reading so I could lead worship with a band. I taught lessons for about five years, too. I still dust off the keyboard now and then with the hopes that one day I'll be able to pick back up where I left off a few years ago. 

I guess you could say I'm a pianist. I took for nine years growing up and self-taught chord reading so I could lead worship with a band. I taught lessons for about five years, too. I still dust off the keyboard now and then with the hopes that one day I'll be able to pick back up where I left off a few years ago. 

This year, we are building house #2. The only other house we've ever owned was a new build and that time, we didn't go through a developer. We lived and breathed drywall, paint, tile, sanding, cutting, grouting, flooring and caulking for 9 months. Hosanna Hill, what I named that house in Virginia, was stunning by the time we were done with it. 

This year, we are building house #2. The only other house we've ever owned was a new build and that time, we didn't go through a developer. We lived and breathed drywall, paint, tile, sanding, cutting, grouting, flooring and caulking for 9 months. Hosanna Hill, what I named that house in Virginia, was stunning by the time we were done with it. 

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I've run 12 half marathons and two full marathons. The Virginia Beach rock & roll half is my most frequent race, which both Philip and my dad have also completed. I'm not competitive at all, running is one of the ways I process life and take a little "me" time. 

I've run 12 half marathons and two full marathons. The Virginia Beach rock & roll half is my most frequent race, which both Philip and my dad have also completed. I'm not competitive at all, running is one of the ways I process life and take a little "me" time. 

Thank you for taking a trip down memory lane with me. You've won me over with your interest ;) I'd love to know what some of your best memories or most interesting, little-known facts about you are. Leave me a comment - or better yet, a link -  so I can return the favor.