Today is my 35th birthday. Honestly, for the past five years, I've been in shock over being "in my thirties". I don't feel thirty-something at. all. But here I am, somehow already celebrating thirty-five whole years of life gone by. And you know what? I think I'm finally embracing this decade of having some life experience, not being so wide-eyed and naive, and being firm with priorities.
I know what I'm good at and I'm more confident in those things than ever. I've had enough time now to test the waters in a lot of areas and it's led to a refinement of what I spend my time doing - and what I'm happy to let someone else do if they're better at it. Sure, I love to write but there are methods of writing I'm not so great at and don't enjoy doing. I love to lead people but moreso as the small group teacher than the platform speaker. I'm done with generalities and have moved on to specifics, which makes so much more sense when you're making decisions and ordering your life.
I know what I want - and don't want. I want to demonstrate what an unwasted life looks like, to show younger couples what it looks like to pour out without destroying your marriage, to be respected for my gifts and skills and to show Cora what it looks like to work hard and invest your life in worthwhile commitments. I don't want to order my life around someone else's priorities, to do things just because others are or to follow rules that may make sense for someone else's situation but only make life more difficult for my family.
Boundaries are easier now. Instead of the pressure to please so I am seen a certain way, I now feel the urgency of fewer years ahead, especially years with a child at home, which means drawing the line when something is not an important part of the bigger picture.
I'm fitter than I've ever been and it feels amazing. This is kind of a bonus that snuck up on me, but thanks to a very health-conscious workplace and training for a marathon, I'm getting kind of beast-mode. I'm also much smarter about food and diet than I used to be so, yeah, I'm in better shape than I was a decade ago and finally at the place where fit living isn't a chore at all, it's just part of the routine. Go me!
If I had to sum it up, 35 feels like freedom, and I think I'm going to love it.